The virtue of apology

السيد علي فضل الله

His Eminence, Sayyed Ali Fadlallah, delivered on Jamada Aloula 24, 1442 H. /January 8, 2021.  two Fridays speeches. Following is the edited text of them:

The first Sermon

 Allah says in His Glorious Book: And hasten to the forgiveness of your Lord and to a Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth, prepared for the God-fearing.

who spend in the way of Allah both in plenty and hardship, who restrain their anger, and forgive

These are the ones who, when they commit any indecency and wrong against themselves, instantly remember Allah and implore forgiveness for their sins – for who will forgive sins save Allah? – and who do not willfully persist in the wrong they did. Allah, the Most Exalted, speaks the truth.

 These Ayats call on the people to hasten to a Paradise, as vast as the heavens and the earth that God prepared for the pious, who are, as described by these Ayats, those who spend in the way of Allah both in plenty and hardship, who restrain their anger and forgive when someone wrongs them. However, they enjoy another trait, which we should highlight: they might make mistakes, but they would soon ask their God for forgiveness.  Man, by his very nature, commits mistakes and Allah, The Most Exalted, forgives him and accepts his repentance. But God would not forgive His servant if he/she persists and insists on committing the same mistake over and over again.

Moreover, just as Allah wanted this attitude to govern the relation with Him, He wanted it to be the norm in people’s relations among one another. Allah wants the believer, in case he commits a mistake and wrongs others, be they his children, spouse, colleague, schoolmate, or even his junior in work or age, to hasten to remove any effect this mistake might have caused, by apologizing, or by any other means… Nothing should prevent him from doing this, as the positive effect the apology creates is obvious. It vents the anger, contains the tension and restores the dignity. The apologizer would thus avoid any negative effects his mistake might have initiated. It is also the way one should follow to attain Allah’s forgiveness, which God has conditioned to accept repentance. And if the believer cannot apologize, Allah asked him to call Him so that Allah Himself would satisfy the wronged.

And this is what Imam Zein Al-Abidein(a.s.) says in one of his supplications : I ask You concerning the complaints of Your servants against me: If there is a servant from among Your servants or a handmaid from among Your handmaids, who has against me a complaint because I have wronged him in respect to himself, his reputation, his property, his wife or his child,  evil words I have spoken about him in his absence, an imposition upon him through inclination, caprice, scorn, zeal, false show, bigotry, be he absent or present, alive or dead, such that my hand has fallen short and my capacity has been too narrow  to make restitution to him or to annul my obligation to him…      

Islam has confronted the mentality of those who consider apologizing a kind of submission, humiliation or insult that offends their dignity, especially if it is made to those who are younger or of a lesser position and status…

We now witness a mother advising her daughter not to apologize to her husband so that he will not become more “hardheaded”, and the father telling his son not to apologize to his wife because he is the “man of the house”. The manager, too, should not apologize to his/her employees and the teacher should not apologize to his/her students and the housewife should not apologize to her maid. The doctor should not apologize to his\her patient when he/she commits a mistake in his/her treatment for this will hurt their reputation… Even the cleric should not apologize if he commits a mistake in one of his opinions or stands, to safeguard his religious position, although this is against what Islam calls for.

We also find this attitude prevailing among those who hold political, economic, and security positions … They would commit crimes, but they would not be prepared to apologize to those whom they undermined their present and their future, and threatened their life, for they believe that they are too great to apologize.

  Nevertheless, Islamic morals consider apologizing a demonstration of strength and boldness, because he who apologizes triumphs over his own demons.

Yet, this apology remains insufficient and would not achieve its goal of ending conflict and tension except when the one apologized to accepts this apology…  That is why the Hadiths urged us to accept the apology and warned against not responding to it. The Hadith says that if a man insults you on your right, then turns to your left and apologizes to you, accept his excuse (And do not hesitate).

This has been considered a sign of wisdom and maturity on the part of the one who accepts the apology, since he/she would be concerned to end the tension that might occur by mistake. Not accepting the excuse would mean telling the apologizer that you do not want to continue the relation and you want the tension between you to remain.

 The Messenger(p.) even disavowed those who do not accept apology and declared that who would not accept   the apology of his brother whether he is right or wrong he will not meet him in heaven….

We do not aim here to justify committing mistakes. On the contrary, we ask the believer not to commit mistakes and not have to apologize, but since we know that the believer would make mistakes, we want him not to wait long before he apologizes for the mistake he committed and not to insist on it.

The second sermon

Worshippers of Allah, The Most Exalted, I advise you and myself, by Allah’s saying: Then you will surely be asked that Day about pleasure. (graces), in which He indicates that He will ask you when you stand before Him.

The first thing we will be asked about is our health. How did we deal with it? Did we protect and preserve it? And did we shoulder our duty towards it?

In Allah’s view man is not free to harm himself, nor is he free to deal with his body without any restraints, eating and drinking whatever he wants …. staying wherever he wants, even if it is harmful to his health and does not take the proper treatment when he is sick. On the Day of Judgment, we will be held accountable for not taking care of our health, just as we will be held accountable when we harm   the health of others. When one is fully aware of this he will become more capable of fighting sickness and all the challenges of life.

We begin with the corona pandemic where the increase in the numbers of those infected has reached an unprecedented level of almost five thousand daily, which means that it has become totally out of control, prompting the government to start a three-week lockdown.     

 Faced by these catastrophic circumstances, we would like to emphasize the importance of implementing  any measures that would curb the pandemic and prevent its disastrous results that affect both the citizens and the medical staff…However, we are afraid that these measures would not realize their desired goal, for there are many exemptions, due the inability of the Lebanese  of enduring  long periods of lockdown in these difficult economic conditions, as well the failure of the government to provide  financial aid in the lockdown period, as practiced in the rest of the world.

Thus, we reemphasize the necessity of dealing with any obstacles that might hinder the commitment to these measures and be stricter in implementing them. We also renew our call to the citizens to fully abide by these measures.

It is regrettable that there are some people who deal carelessly with this pandemic, without taking into account the sufferings of those who were infected, which may inflict their loved ones, which will make them remorseful, but it would be too little too late.  

In the meantime, the financial and economic collapse continues to aggravate, in the absence of any measures that would relief the citizens from the ramifications of this state on their daily living and their ability to attain their basic needs.  

 The political reality still lives in a state of denial and deals coldly with the issue of the formation of the government which means that no one is in a hurry to form it, as there are no meetings to step it up. The political parties continue their bickering, or waiting for a solution from the foreign powers that will not come at least in this stage; having become clear that Lebanon is not currently on their agenda. Waiting, in these circumstances will only make matters worse and the Lebanese have to pull out their own thorns.

As for the investigation concerning the port blast, it seems that it has become a prisoner of the judiciary- political clash which is not something new in Lebanon, as the overlapping between the political and the judiciary for many decades is one of the reasons that made the country deteriorate to this level.

On the regional level, and as the tension escalates and the drums of war beat, we believe that the region is in a desperate need for internal unity and cooperation to face the developments.  In this respect, we welcome the reconciliation that took place recently, however, we would like it to be an open one that takes into account the Interests of all Islamic and Arab countries, not to increase the rift among them by declaring that the danger is Iran and not the Zionist enemy.

In America, the attack on the Capitol underscores the American social divisions and weaknesses which will have its repercussions inside America and, as we are afraid from, also outside it.